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President’s Message

Remarks from Pasquale at the Annual Meeting

Good

Pasquale Folino with his wife, Angela, and three daughters

Pasquale Folino with his wife, Angela, and three daughters

Evening,

Thank you for the honor and privilege of allowing me to serve as President of The Connecticut Funeral Directors Association.

We may not always agree on every issue, but to each and every one of my fellow funeral directors, I promise that I will do what is always in the best interest of funeral service and the families that we serve. I offer to each and every one of my fellow funeral directors and our supplier members that I will be here for you.

This year I have chosen "Offering others what we have to give" as my theme. I believe that it is the essence of what we as funeral directors do each and every day.

Offering others what we have to give - The gift of love and friendship.
My family- the four corners of my world- Angela, Mary, Allesondra and Sofia- you offer me a love that is unconditional. You offer me a safe refuge from all that the world throws at me. I love you. You are the reasons that I walk this earth each and every day.

My partners- Chris Neilan and Mark Ennis- for allowing me the opportunity to take time away from our business to get involved with CFDA. Your support is immensely appreciated. All who have partners in any business should be as lucky as I am to have partners like Chris and Mark. Each and every day they have my back. I am proud to call them my partners, but most of all I am honored to have them as friends.

Offering others what we have to give - The gift of compassion.
Each and every one of us possesses a gift- the ability to face death and all its raw emotions with a calm, compassionate and gentle demeanor. We offer our families a safe harbor in the midst of an emotional hurricane.
We have all held the hand of the elderly woman who has lost her soul mate of 50 years and gently wiped her tears. We have all stood by the casket as the family has said their final good bye to their child. We see the worst that death can bestow on the living and we have stood steadfast doing our job with honor and dignity. At the end of the day, that's what we do. They aren't offering that online or at any super discount centers.

Offering others what we have to give - The opportunity to serve.
Each and every day in our communities when death occurs, we are called upon by neighbors, friends and strangers and are given the sacred honor of caring for their loved one. They turn to us for strength, guidance and compassion. They look to us for directions, answers and comfort. They are offering us the opportunity to assist them.

Just because we have a sign that says we are funeral directors and are available 24/ 7, 365 days a year, does not give us the right to care for their dead. They give us that right and we must earn that right every day, one family at a time.

Offering others what we have to give - The option to embrace change.
25 years ago, when I was a student at the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science, I had a professor who had a favorite expression- "the only thing that is permanent is change" Mr. Van Beck would also say to us, "that the rocket ship of change is blasting off today. Are you getting onboard or are you going to watch it take off and leave you behind?"

In my short time in funeral service I have seen needs and wants of our communities change. Twenty five years ago, who would have thought that I would see clowns in full customs at a gravesite or people leaving our funeral home after a memorial service and going into our parking lot and feeding carrots to horses of the deceased, video tributes, heavy metal music at wakes, photo boards, motorcycles next to the casket during the wake, cremated remains in jewelry. Good God, today they're blasting people's cremated remains into space. We don't have to understand it, but, we either offer the families what they want or they will find someone else willing to serve them.

Offering others what we have to give - The gift of guidance.
One night a few years back, I was having a difficult day with a family that I was serving and one of our staff members said to me "hey Patsy, tomorrow's another day, the sun will come up and all this will pass". My dear friend, Aldo, you were right.

That's what we have to offers our families, the ability to lead them through the dark and stormy night and reassure them that the sun will rise tomorrow and that this too will pass.

In closing, I would like to take a moment to read to you a quote that has been part of my world for many years now. The author is unknown to me; however, their words are of deep significance to me as a funeral director and as someone who has personally felt death's sting.
"Treat every funeral as if it were your first funeral, treat each funeral as if it were your only funeral, and treat each funeral as it were your last funeral".

When my father died, I was 11 years old and it was my first funeral. When my mother died, I was 25 years old and it was the only funeral that mattered to me. When my day comes, it will be my last funeral and I want it to be a meaningful one for my girls.

God Bless each and every one of you who serves the living and cares for their dead.